You can see 19.1 here.
In eight minutes:
25 hanging knee-raises
15 squat cleans, 55 lbs.
25 hanging knee-raises
Needless to say, I did not make it beyond to the 12 minute, 16 minute, or 20 minute caps. And while I knew that would be the case, this is the first work-out that I just felt really frustrated with myself. I mentioned this briefly yesterday when I posted my work-outs for the week, but I am started to get tired of working out with no improvement. Or at least physical improvement. Yes, this is pregnancy. But I can tell myself that rational truth all I want, but it is still frustrating when one week I can do regular push-ups and two weeks later I am back to doing push-ups on my knees, when a few weeks ago working out didn’t phase me, and now I feel completely shot for the rest of the afternoon no matter how much I take it “easy.” When even when I try to do something simple like stretching yoga (I know real yoga isn’t simple), I can barely get through a whole video because ahem! someone is in my way. Once again, I add that I am happy, lucky, blessed to be having a very good pregnancy. But this is the honest truth: even knowing that, it sucks to see my fitness go bye-bye.
I don’t know why this work out was exceptionally frustrating to me. I don’t know if I just walked in with a bad attitude or what. I had never squat cleaned before, so I was happy to just get through the 55 lbs., fifteen times. It was slow going, but I am happy to say I got them done, thus PR-ing 15 times. Huzzah! So it was not that. The hanging knee-raises were fine, especially when my coach advised that I spread my legs a bit. That made the raise motion not hurt so bad in my hip flexors, stomach, pelvis area. Jumping rope comes with some different problems, but it does not take me too long to get through fifty. The work-out part of the work-out actually went perfectly fine. I did more than I thought I could and that was what I wanted to accomplish.
But I left thoroughly frustrated and disheartened. I think part of it is jealousy. I’m jealous of people able to, you know, actually push themselves, hit PR’s, do things they have never done. I am jealous of people who can work out and hurt in the normal way, not in the “every time I squat it hurts because it is heavy but also hurts because I’m 27 weeks pregnant” way. I used to love squats. Now they are the bane of my work-out existence. I end up waddling the rest of the day and the next day because my pelvis does not feel so great during or afterwards. I’m jealous because I had about thirty seconds left after I finished the last round of jump-ropes, and I would have loved to try the next set of weight for the squat-cleans, even if only to fail. And fail happily, I add. But I didn’t, because I didn’t want to over-do it. A wise move I’m sure, but still frustrating.
I know I am whining. And, again, I repeat I know I am lucky. But I’m also being thoroughly honest. It can be tough sometimes.
My hopes for 19.3 — something arms, push-presses, push-jerks, push-cleans (is that a thing?), whatever. I just want a movement that does not involve me going below parallel wondering if I am going to be able to get back up. I also hope to return to the attitude of gratitude I want to have through not only the open, but through the pregnancy. Once again — I could not do any of this last year. At all. I am grateful to be able to do what I can for as long as I can.